You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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