garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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