You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
