so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
