do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
