I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
