Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
