what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
