...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
