This dress was meant to end up on your floor
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
