ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
