wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just want to make out with him forever
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
