Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
