Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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