if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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