Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
