You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
