yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
