one two three fourrrrnication!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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