Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
