Its about making memories worth repressing
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
