I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
