I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
