im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
