This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you traded sex for a burrito?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
