question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
there is puke in my bra ... again
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
