dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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