I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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