Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
