somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
