So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
