i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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