So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
