Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
