How'd it feel making her break her religion?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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