He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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