the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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