Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
