so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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