a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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