I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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