Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
