im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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