I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
