how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
