I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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