I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
