So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dignity is for republicans.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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