right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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