My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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