You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
