There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
