she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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